Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me. There is more than enough room in my Father’s home. If this were not so, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you? When everything is ready, I will come and get you, so that you will always be with me where I am.
I am sitting at a heavy black desk in my home office, surrounded by blue walls and dark wooden bookshelves. I was in this exact spot ten weeks ago when it dawned on me that I would be spending a lot of time here in the days ahead. From where I sit, I can see the yellow walls of my dining room, a color I chose, but have never really liked. I also see the wool rug that dates back to my previous color palette, dominated by a deep shade of red wine.
As I apprehended the implications of the new phrase, “shelter in place,” I felt it all closing in on me; the blues and yellows and reds. I thought–no–I’m disgruntled with my surroundings! And I certainly don’t have the time, energy, or vision for the big makeover necessary to lift my spirits.
Once I understood the source of my unease, I took a deep breath, and asked God to reframe my thinking.
He did just that.
I was reading from John 14 when these words of Jesus invited me home. He was painting a mental image for his disciples when he told them he was going to prepare rooms for them in his Father’s house, and he would be coming back to take them home someday. They didn’t understand at the time that he was describing their ultimate home in heaven.
As I read these words, I came to peace with my current sense of discontent. I know “home” is not just a building with a four digit number emblazoned on the mailbox, but it’s a concept, a deep reality to which I’m called. It’s the world for which I’m made that explains why, no matter how perfect my paint, how clean my countertops, how ingenious my floor plan, I will always feel like I do not quite belong here.
But here is the real grace: God has chosen to make his home here with me, with all my mysterious color choices. Because of God’s pervasive presence, I can sanctify the space around me. I can simply invite the Holy Spirit to fully occupy my mind and my heart. I’m sitting in the same spot I was ten weeks ago, but in a very different space.
Not home, exactly, but on my way.
Pastor of Women’s Ministry and Centered
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