Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before Him; God is our refuge for us.
A few years ago, our small group did the Abide Bible study on prayer, and a quote about the Israelites stood out to me. It read, “They had to trust and rely on God to provide enough.” That hit like a ton of bricks on my heart.
I realized I had been speaking the words, “I trust you Lord,” or “just trust in God,” when, in reality, I had distrust in my heart towards God…ouch!
How did I get there? For years, I had been praying for someone I loved dearly. I wanted them to know and love Jesus and for him to create a soft heart in them. I did not plan for my heart to be hurt and broken when those prayers were answered. I had many conversations with God. I reminded him of some of the hardest times I had been through, like being with my mom when she passed, then with my dad when he passed, and the time a tornado hit our house and we lost everything. So why did he allow this, too?
Did you notice what I said: why did he allow this to happen to me? I allowed the enemy to blind me from what God did to the heart of the loved one I had prayed for. They found healing and a closer relationship with God and, instead of rejoicing with them, I was grieving the loss of what I thought our relationship was.
I focused on me. I focused on how I was feeling instead of letting them see God through me. When I read those words in Abide, I knew I had to go deep and see where and why I distrusted God. I had to redefine my relationship with God.
It has been a journey and the restoration is more than I thought it could be with God and my loved one!
It is easy to declare that we trust God, but what does it really look like to walk out a life of faith?
I pray that we trust in you not just when life is going our way, but in all the seasons we walk through. I pray that our faith does not wavier from your truth.
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